“Being idle can be just as dangerous as going too fast” - Pastor Rob Ketterling
I’m learning to trust my heart.
When I was 8 years old, my family lived in a cul-de-sac in Merced, CA. This was 1984 and the teenagers who lived around us seemed to really be into two things: BMX biking and Motley Crue. They had set up a bike ramp in the middle of the cul-de-sac where they would jump bikes and listen to Motley Crue’s second record, Shout At The Devil.
I liked to ride my bike and jumping the ramp seemed like it could be fun. So I watched these older guys jump, creeping a little bit closer to the action day after day until I was being encouraged to jump myself. 40 years later, I can vaguely remember two distinct feelings shortly before attempting to jump and then crashing spectacularly: first, I don’t know how I’m supposed to land after making the jump…and the song “Shout At The Devil” is probably a bad thing.
I can’t blame teenaged boys for not properly instructing me in the step-by-step mechanics of jumping off a bike ramp; all I got from them was “don’t step pedaling when you hit the ramp” and “don’t stay sitting on the seat when you land.” And while opinions vary on the spiritual-psychological impact of hair metal music, for a little kid whose mom listened to Focus on the Family every morning on the way to school, Nikki Sixx’s lyrics felt like a gateway to some bad stuff.
I don’t think the devil made me crash. I was just an 8-year old kid trying to do something I wasn’t ready for. And I knew it. It wasn’t that I didn’t think about the landing; it was that I felt like I’d look like a scared little kid if I asked all of my questions.
And here’s the lesson I’m continuing to learn: trusting my heart means honoring the questions I have when something doesn’t seem to be the way it’s supposed to be.
Yesterday afternoon, the Instagram algorithm showed me a reel from the Talking Church podcast. The hook is that “being idle can be just as dangerous as going too fast.” The context is the observation that going too fast in ministry makes one more susceptible to moral failure. Pastor Rob Kettering pushed back on that perspective, countering that while going too fast can be problematic, it’s an equal problem if someone is being idle and not being faithful to the work God has given them to do.
I think there’s wisdom in that. The pace of our life and work should not be faster or slower than God intends for us in our station and season.
And it’s that last part that tripped the wire of my heart. Spiritual practitioners have called this desolation - what we experience when we encounter something in life that appears disconnected from the character and life of God. You might refer to desolation as a “check in your spirit” or describe it as an affective heaviness, emotional conflict or inner turmoil.
When I watched that reel, I felt desolation. Something sounded off. And what I’m learning is that when something looks, sounds, or feels disconnected from my understanding of the character of God and his way of life, I should get curious.
Not judgmental. Curious.
Not curious about the motive or character of the person I’m listening to.
Not curious about the orthodoxy or “rightness” of what they might be saying.
No, what I’m learning to do is to get curious about what’s going on inside of me.
What am I hearing and seeing?
Where does what I hear or see conflict with my understanding and experience?
Assuming the best of them, what questions can I ask of them or myself or God to align my heart with reality?
Once I find myself in alignment (experienced as consolation - life lived in connection with the character and life of God), I can then explore what’s the next right thing for myself and perhaps others around me.
Here’s how this worked out for me as I worked through the “heart check” I had as I watched the Instagram reel.
Remember the wisdom contained in the clip: The pace of our life and work should not be faster or slower than God intends for us in our station and season.
What tripped me up is that the context of the conversation was difficulty slowing down during this pastor’s sabbatical. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to practicing sabbatical, but the purpose of a sabbatical is to step away from work responsibilities in order to slow down your life.
It sounds to me like Pastor Rob was doing that and experienced some difficulty in the adjustment to the pace and/or focus of his life. That’s a common experience for anyone who steps into an extended sabbatical.
What tripped me up - and where I get curious - is his diagnosis that he was being “idle” during his sabbatical. I don’t know if he walked into his counselor’s office with that understanding or developed that sense of things for himself as he processed his experience.
Here’s what I’d like to learn from him:
What did being idle look like in his life during sabbatical?
Assuming that sabbatical is an invitation to slow down, how did he adjust to finding a healthy rhythm of life that allowed him to experience rest holistically?
Outside of seasons of sabbatical, how would he advise leaders to explore the right pace of life for them, avoiding going too fast or too slow?
For what it’s worth, I was reading Psalm 90 this morning and was reminded of what seems to be a kind of North Star in setting the pace of our life in verse 14: Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.
Here’s the principle for every season of life and work: live your life at the pace of joy.
If we want to lead well for the long haul, the rhythm of our life must be adjusted to a pace where we consistently place ourselves in the presence of God whose smiling face (hesed - “unfailing love”) ignites joy in our soul that animates our life and work.
If we are going to do the work of a leader - guiding others into their own transformation for the sake of others - then we must start with ourselves.
Every day and in every season.
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