An Obvious Reason DEI Doesn't Work
Is that those initiatives don’t deal with the contempt people feel towards each other.
“I am better than you. You are inferior to me.”
Contempt is the number one predictor of divorce. The close proximity of the relationship causes contempt to spill out into a word or phrase that severs the connection between a husband and wife.
In business or polite society, our relationships are distant enough that we can hide the contempt that we feel towards a particular individual or a type of person.
We hide it from “those people”.
We even hide it from ourselves.
Until we’re invited to confront contempt in ourselves through efforts towards diversity, equity and inclusion.
Current efforts in statehouses and boardrooms to eliminate DEI expose the limitations of forced compliance. Unless and until those in power want a more inclusive environment, resistance will be consistent and the backlash will be severe. This should not eliminate efforts towards legislation and company policy. But the challenges expected should provide a sense of sobriety and foster a spirit of creativity.
I don’t believe this should go on your marketing material, but I suspect the most significant efforts towards DEI involve an invitation to confront our contempt for each other.
Our efforts are invitational and expect people will resist or hesitate many times before they say ‘yes’.
Our efforts invite people to be self-critical. Our curriculum must emphasize acknowledgment over accusation.
Our efforts should guide people into the hidden corners of their soul, where a sense of superiority takes root and flourishes.
Listen to how Jesus does this in Matthew 5:21-22:
“You have heard that our ancestors were told, “You must not murder. If you commit murder, you will be brought to court.” But I say, if you even express anger towards someone, you will be brought to court. If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the supreme court. And if you have contempt towards someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.”
Notice the inward progression of Jesus’ exposure: from murder to outward displays of anger towards someone’s person or property, before inviting people to consider how they talk about and see other people.
And it is in this deepest place - beyond words and actions that contempt and its costs are exposed. Look again at Jesus’ last sentence and his reference to hell. Our best scholarship reveals that Jesus has a specific reference in mind:
“The fires of hell” are a reference to a valley outside of Jerusalem where centuries earlier, child sacrifices had been committed. Against such actions, the prophets declared that “the fires started to consume the innocent will turn back and consume those who started them.”
Jesus is saying the spirit of contempt not only dehumanizes others but will end up dehumanizing those carrying such a spirit within them. Underneath our cultural values and our best practices is a volcano that has been engineered to incinerate those who are different than us. But what Jesus reminds us is that the fire always breaks out and ends up consuming us as well.
I’d like to leave you with a brief curriculum to counter contempt. But, first, I’d like to acknowledge that this spirit of contempt not only cripples DEI efforts; it is also crippling multiethnic churches, rendering them places of banality where minority expressions of faith are limited to whatever the majority is willing to tolerate.
This might sound pessimistic or defeatist, but I hope what I’m capturing is one possible way to follow Jesus into particular ways of building into his kingdom. Jesus is the Saving King who invites people to join him along a narrow path; he does not insist and enforce his way into compliance. So we are wise when our DEI efforts prioritize invitation and expect only a small percentage of people to join in.
In terms of framework, here’s what seems to be most transformative: Creating intentional spaces where strong relational attachments are created through shared story where our feelings and longings are expressed.
What must take place to counter contempt is a shift from “us vs. them” to an experience where we see that this other person is “just like me.” This is what lies underneath the truism of “unity in diversity.” Relational connection through emotional engagement.
I don’t have to tell you the challenges this presents in a work environment. I’m simply here to clarity the necessary conditions for achieving the outcomes of DEI. Until contempt is confronted and replaced by strong relational attachments, DEI will only exacerbate the inequities, uniformity and exclusion of our organizations.
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